Playing it safe?

I haven't blogged in awhile. My bad! Well since the last blog post, I have been working on those things. There's always a reprieve, I feel like. Whether that's good or bad, I don't know, but I'm trying to work harder on these things again! Pray for me, y'all.

So... I didn't really have a particular topic in mind but I just felt this aching that I needed to write. I was at a friend's house yesterday and we were talking about life and such. We got onto the topic of writing. I started thinking about it and the more I thought about the more I felt CONVICTION for not writing more. I actually felt conviction. I think it's because I know the Lord has given me a gift to write and to write well. I haven't been exercising that gift. Like at all lately. This ashames me. So write more, I must. And by write... I don't mean type. I do mean WRITE. I haven't WRITTEN in ages. I'm pretty sure I'm not exaggerating either.

Anyway, I have a few things on my heart and mind so I'm going to talk about them briefly (or not so briefly because it's how I do...). Oh, and if you'll excuse me I'm going to go ahead and bullet point this biznass.

• For as long as I can remember I've wanted to marry someone who is a musician. Someone who can sing to me on my wedding day. I realize this may be a pretty typical dream of most girls. Yeah, that's fine...they can wish for that. But HELLO, we're talking about ME here. Oh my gosh...that sounded awful. It's kind of a funny story really. I have only dated 2 guys. And the last relationship ended over a year ago (talk about time flying!). And, so technically I haven't really settled, but it feels like I have because my heart has attached itself in so many different places. But really I guess the reason I'm mentioning this at all is because I have been thinking about dating a lot lately. I am soooo ready to be in a relationship again. I realize this is a normal, healthy desire. I also realize that I'm only 19 years old, so I should probably be a little more patient. BUT COME ON, I'M READY! I think... Oh but back to the point: tonight at this music show I was at I re realized the God given desires on my heart. And, I'm here to tell myself not to settle for less than a musician (one that loves Jesus, that is), because sometimes even when I think I'm being selfish there are just some things that God has given me, so take that for what it is!

• I only have one more bullet point. I thought there may be more, but I'm tired and have class in the morning. So, I've been a little all over the place this past summer and now. My spiritual life has been dead. I haven't cared. I've been completely and utterly selfish. I've taken on bad habits. I've done things I said I would never do and I've been plain awful. I'm currently in the midst of turning back around and facing God like I need to. A soul scrubbing of sorts. I went to a small group last night in da Hunts. And I'm pleased to say I think I've found a top notch group of girls that I pray to grow with this semester and possibly next depending on God's plan for my school education journey. I'm excited about this! And excited about being with Him again, all the time.

Well, I have a long day at school tomorrow. LOVE!